Could be as trivial as a type of food, a TV show, or something more serious.
Social interaction. It would be nice to not just be so exhausted talking to people. It would be nice to not dread the idea of sending someone a text, like it’s some insane mental effort and not the smallest thing. It would be nice to not be lonely but totally unwilling to do what it takes to correct it.
I’m totally the same. Last night a coworker text me to let me know they would be back in the office tomorrow after taking a couple days off. It took me almost 10 minutes to come up with “ok, see you tomorrow then”. I rewrote that text at least a dozen times. Why the hell is something so simple a monumental effort for me?
The key difference between introverts and extroverts is that for introverts social interactions drain our mental energy while extroverts are energized by interactions.
One key thing to remember here is introvert/extrovert isn’t about the level of shyness or anxiety though. You could be an extremely outgoing introvert or a shy extrovert. It truly is only about the relationship between your mental energy and social interaction. The comment above sounds more like social anxiety than introversion, though could be both.
Often. But more often not. It’s nice to be alone, because a lot of human interaction involves unnecessary drama. Maybe it’s just our brains protecting us.
I like that idea. Currently at a coffee shop alone. No panicking brain trying to keep up with the processing right or wrong actions.
Running. It’s the cheapest, easiest form of exercise, but it absolutely bores me to death and i just can’t deal with it after 5 minutes.
I don’t mind most other forms of exercise, it’s just that they all require more time, effort or resources. Going to the gym requires a gym membership, basketball requires friends, etc.
hiking is basically running but better
You’ve gotta do it for even longer to burn the same amount of calories though!
just do a more difficult hike at a faster pace, you can burn A LOT of calories climbing hills and navigating underbrush
I’ll admit running is difficult at first because it requires your active thoughts to keep going. Depending on fitness level (mainly regarding weight, not musculature or cardiovascular), after a month or so of a 3xWk plan, you can start to get into a point where it starts getting more sexond nature and you get more of your mind to yourself and the distraction from running becomes more related to your ability to regularly distract yourself with just your thoughts and/or audio (music, books, podcasts, etc).
But yeah, the beginning is really hard. I used to run, got pretty good at it (would go on 8mi runs with a sub-9 minute pace on the weekend) but then stopped for like… 7 years. Just started again a month or two ago. I can only run for about 25 minutes at like a 12 minute pace. I’m also overweight and over 40 which isn’t helping anything. But when I started (or restarted as it were) I couldn’t run for 5 minutes straight. I do get shin splints, I was getting sore muscles all over, but slowly I’m getting better at it. At even just the 20ish minute mark though, I need something to distract me. Right now it’s music, but I’ve been considering podcasts as I feel they generally get me more distracted.
try roller skates. saves your knees and not boring.
Same for swimming. I don’t actually dislike the activity itself, but I’m not at ease in the sea and I despise the swimming pool.
River/lake swimming is so the way to go
@eyy @MisterHavoc as someone who might be mistaken as being active, I loathe running and wish I didn’t. Every other exercise (most of which I love) is just less convenient. Biking, swimming, hiking, sports - all require extra steps (equipment or environment or other people). If I liked running even a little more it would be so practical to just throw on shoes and go whenever.
But the moment my legs are pumping and my lungs are aching there’s nothing to distract me from feeling like I’m DYING.
this is exactly how I feel! I don’t get any sense of achievement from running a certain distance or running faster than I did before, and it feels terrible (and I know I can stop that feeling if i just stop running). Almost every other sport gets me that sense of achievement but requires more time, money or effort in some form.
Try low intensity while listening to a podcast. 80% of runs are best done at a pace where you can easily hold a conversation and breath through your nose (5/10 effort).
I’m listening to history podcasts now and it feels incredibly relaxing and makes my whole day better. Now I don’t even like rest days anymore. 🙃
Do you like audioboks or podcasts? Listening to something while running really helped me to find more interest in running/walking more. You do need a good pair of headphones so that they don’t fall out of your ears, though.
It’s all about the activity. My younger kid is extremely athletic: he did a 5k on a whim and kept up with the runners club without preparation. However he hates running, and gives similar reasons. His activity is soccer. Soccer gives a point to running. That kid will run the entire game if he’s playing soccer, but even he can’t stand running
Cilantro. Fucking soapy-assed tasting bullshit. I want to like you, but genetics won’t let me.
If like me you also didn’t know what “Cilantro” is, it’s Coriander.
Yeah, cilantro is the culinary term, where coriander is the botanical.
TBH, this doesn’t make any sense, you can buy both cilantro and coriander for cooking. They’re both regular ingredients, so they’re both culinary terms.
Normally cilantro is the leafy part and coriander is the seeds (you can get whole or crushed).
That’s at least true for American English. I’m unclear if it holds true in British, Australian, etc. Or if it works in other languages that use these words.
Never got a soapy taste from cilantro, but as a kid, a suicidal stink bug landed on a PB&J I was eating.
At first I was pissed off at my brother, cuz that bastard put cilantro on a fucking PB&J!!! I spit the bite out. Wad of partially chewed sandwich, mixed with insect legs and broken shell lands on my plate: no cilantro. Brother is now looking up at me with a genuine expression of concern: not a prank.
Lesson 1: look before you bite.
Lesson 2: Stink bugs taste exactly like cilantro.
Lesson 3: …cilantro tastes exactly like stink bugs.
The tiniest little flek of that shit can ruin an otherwise delicious bite of food.
@Sterile_Technique @PunnyName in some dystopian future where cilantro has gone extinct, stinkbugs get crushed up and dyed green as fake cilantro powder, much like horseradish pretends to be wasabi… What a dark place that must be
Wait until you hear about red food colouring
@Infernal_pizza !?! What about red food coloring? Is it made from bugs too???
Yes, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this:
@Infernal_pizza 😳 #TIL bugs called cochineal are almost 1/4 carminic acid! The main component used in red dye. That’s nuts!
This for sure. I have the soap gene as well. I love Mexican food, and it’s nigh impossible to find much traditional Mexican without cilantro.
Heads up: cooking cilantro should eliminate the soapy flavor.
Also be aware many indian dishes contain cilantro/coriander
Oh yes I forgot about Indian. I have to be picky about where I go so I can avoid cilantro. Cooking does help a little bit the soap is still there for me. It’s really overwhelming in dishes to me.
That’s really unfortunate- it’s such a great taste
Is parsley related to Cilantro?
I really really cannot stand parsley in anything, it is bitter and disgusting and mu workplace puts it in everything.
I’m the opposite. I pretty much sub out cilantro for parsley in every dish.
Maybe I need to try some cilantro to see if I am some sort of rare mutant.
You have probably had it. It’s in tons of food. If you’ve ever had coriander, that is another name for cilantro.
If you like cilantro, you’re normal. The soap gene is the mutant gene. Like blue eyes, or being able to process lactose (I have both).
Embarrassment humor. It’s always sunny. How I met your mother. Arrested development. I think you should leave. I can’t stand cringe.
I tend to just feel bad for the characters involved, I don’t understand the appeal.
I’m the same way. It usually makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to watch it.
Something similar with reality TV. I start to get irritated. I know the situations are fabricated and edited but it gets me worked up and I hate it.
I was the same way and then I found American Family. I also only started watching it to have something on in the background which is actually probably the reason why I “adapted” to embarrassment humor.
I looked up from the computer/phone/chores to appreciate funny moments bit by bit, started appreciating the characters in wholesome moments, tune out when cringy things were going on… Eventually I got invested into the story of some of the episodes to the point where I started to tolerate cringe and even laugh at it.
God I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I thought everyone likes embarrassment humor and maybe I was getting a little cynical about “how bad taste is getting” or something. So good to know that others call it “cringe” (in one way, not in the other) and can’t watch it either.
Socializing. There are lots of benefits to being connected, but I just can’t stand people. People are the worst, and yeah, that includes me.
The sound of dogs barking. If I liked that, I‘d be so happy every single day. I‘d wake up and go to sleep to a sound I enjoy. As it is, I will have to move and rent is even more expensive now, just depressing.
I adore dogs but no one really loves dogs barking. Even dogs with a relatively discrete or non-annoying bark pitch will tire any ear if they go into a barking ceremony.
It did make me suffer a lot of nights. I’m new stepmother of 7 dogs. They bark and sing a lot. After a while of suffering I just tried to learn to understand what they are saying, and how their music works. As I gradually get better at that I have now many situations where I immediately know if something’s wrong on the farm, or a neighbors dog has come for a visit. But if they are not your dogs the noise can be awful. Especially poor dogs locked up in city apartments or tied to chains as many people do here can be tough to listen to.
My next door neighbour has a dog that just screams and wails all day. It sounds horiffic, but because it’s got food water and shelter and doing it in the day time when his owners are at work it’s ok (says the local authority).
Keeping a dog on its own is absolutely cruel. Of course he’s out of his mind.
Yeah, but what can you do? My ex got a dog, over my objections because since we were split, no one would be home for it. However my vote no longer matters.
Somehow I’m stuck with the cruelty part because the dog just can’t stay home alone but she’s in a townhouse with neighbors. At this point, either the dog is alone in my house suffering, or she gives it back — and my kids have long since bonded. It was a middle aged rescue, so some behavioral issues are more ingrained, and she’s a breed who would certainly not get re-adopted. What can you do?
Every time I look over, I see a total sweetheart cuddling with my kid, not the desperate lonely pooch stuck home alone.
I’m not looking for suggestions: I think we have a good handle on the options, but sometimes those options are not enough
Seafood. So many people love it, so many cultures’ cuisine centers around it, but OMFG I can’t stand the taste.
god same, everyone else loves stuff like salmon and shrimp and it just makes me vomit, it’s absolutely terrible.
the only things i can eat are smoked roe paste (kaviar), and fish sauce.
Exercise.
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People, cause love and friendship.
I feel this. This probably stems from childhood issues and a string of failed relationships but I just can’t be comfortable around really any social groups I’ve had for very long. Functionally I’m great, people seem to like talking to me and want my company. So we’ll do a few get together sessions and then my fatigue will make me slowly fizzle out. It really sucks.
On the brightside though, I do love my own company and have made peace with having a lot of holidays and special occasions on my own or with the cat.
Kodemystic
I’m comfortable too with being by myself. I just think it would improve my life if I felt I could trust people more. Or at least let go of some unarmed something in me that just gets hurt or disappointed by people. I’d like to connect more and not give a fuck when people disappoint me, and just forgive and let go.
Life.
Sorry if it got too serious. But I used to be chillin’ and then I have depression.
But on the more trivial side of things, there are often TV shows or Movies people really like for some reason and upvoted to top of a reddit post asking “what’s your favorite movie of all time”, but I never seem to be able to enjoy some of those (even before I had depression). Like I don’t get what’s so good about them. I read though the plot and it just seem so boring.
Like out of a list of 50 movies people claim to be their favorite, I might only wanna watch like 5 of those.
I feel you. I have persistent depression and it’s such a struggle to just enjoy life most days. Neal Brennan said it best IMO. He says he is unable to feel joy. I have happy moments, but they are fleeting. I enjoy some things and I have fun doing my hobbies, but it never feels fulfilling. Like, I’m just always looking for something to fulfill me, and nothing ever gets there.
Career growth. Works keeps telling me for years about how they want to promote me into a new role, but I keep turning them down. Like bruh yeah it’s more pay but it’s more hours ya know.
I’d rather finish work 5pm everyday then stay back till 8pm for a few grand more which is even worse after tax.
That’s completely normal, and a large portion of people here in Europe would do the same as you do. There is this saying where “people in North America life to work, people in Europe work to life”. Because who cares if you make more money if you barely have the time to actually enjoy it?
Not trying to say one continent is better than the other, but it is a very clear difference in work-life balance mentality.
Nothing wrong with that
I see people I’ve known that are in higher roles and they’re overworked and put in like 50% more hours than I do. They probably make 20% more but I make enough to be very happy. So what’s the point?
If you have enough money, you don’t need 2x enough money.
You can negotiate your hours, just like you can negotiate the pay.
Lots of people do that.
Maybe find a way to define “career growth” for you, instead of the company’s version? I’ve been pretty happy with increased freedom, increased decision-making, without the extra hours and without having to deal with people.
Programming. I have a bunch of ideas that are actually useful for my job, but I can’t seem to keep track of the necessary steps to write the code. ChatGPT has helped me create a couple of programs: a discord bot and a very complex (for me) application that brings in NASA data that automatically runs through Stable Diffusion. The code interpreter is amazing… but there’s too much context I’m missing for these things to be truly fun the way I imagine them to be.
Depending on what your level of experience is, it might just take more time and practice. When I was doing my degree, it took two years, an internship, and multiple serious programming courses before I truly felt comfortable programming.
Look up UC Berkeley’s CS61A, B, and C, then start looking deeper into the CS curriculum to find the pieces you are missing. For me, it took trying to optimise the CPU scheduler for single threaded processes in Linux, specifically complex assemblies in FreeCAD. That lead me to a few lectures about the scheduler in the OS principals course. I’ve done a bunch of little embedded projects but struggle with complexity. The concepts around a scheduler are what I was missing. There are a lot of things like this that are readily available for free online if you just go searching for them specifically.
If you want to really free yourself, I run a offline Llama2 70B with GGML 4bit to code. It works well for snippets and can do better than 3 tokens a second on a 12th gen i7/64GB and 16GBV 3080Ti. It can run at around 2 tokens a second on just the CPU, but you’ll need a Linux machine with an additional 8GB swap partition just to initially load the model. It takes around 43GB to run after init.
Begin social, wishing to meeting people, not just strangers but friends and family, and feeling good to spend time with them. Because be a grumpy lone wolf dosnt pay off.
I want to be alone, I just don’t want to be lonely. Which makes it hard to find friends, since most of the time I’m great just being on my own.
Coffee, it’s just too bitter for me, and by the time I get it tasting okay, it may as well be a dessert. People seem to form half of their personality around how much they love coffee, it makes me feel like I’m missing out.
The problem might be the coffee itself. The stuff you buy at the store is often the cheaper robusta variety, which is known for its bitter taste. It’s why it’s cheap. Arabica coffee is smoother, and much less bitter in some cases. But anything from the store is also from multiple sources, meaning they take crops from all over the world and mix them together. Single source coffee is more expensive, but you can find varieties that are more delicate than store coffee and taste more fruity. Chances are you could find a kind you would be happy drinking with no added cream or sugar.
But then again, don’t push yourself to try it. It’s really no big deal if you don’t like coffee. And honestly, it’s not really good for you anyway, as caffeine is addictive and weaning yourself off of it can be a quite literal headache. Plus it raises your blood pressure, so depending on your health conditions, it might be really bad for you. You’re not missing anything to be sad over. And I say that as a coffee lover.
There are health benefits to coffee as well, as long as you do moderate consumption and don’t put sugar, I don’t think it’s that bad generally.
It is addictive though, and you feel exhausted for some days if you suddenly stop drinking.
First off, do not do it if you don’t want to, King. But I have found I enjoy light roasts with cream, and yes, that’s a very far departure from what macho men call coffee, but who cares. A light roast will be less bitter and more acidic and sweet instead. Also something I’ve learned is that most people use far too many grounds in their coffee, so you get what amounts to over-steeped coffee that again has bad taste.
Definitely medium roast for me, instead of dark roast that most people seem to obsess about. More complex flavours IMO and it’s not bitter at all. Lighter roasts also have more caffeine than darker ones.
I’m a medium light man myself but I didn’t want to go too into the frippery of it for someone saying they don’t like it at all. I need to get a hand grinder and grind my own beans at some point.
If you’re interested in trying to like it, there are a few technique changes I’ve made over the years that have made me enjoy it. If you’re not interested, stop reading and enjoy your coffee free life. 😊
I used to only enjoy it from coffee shops and tolerate it when I made it at home, but I’ve learned a few tricks that helped.
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a pinch of salt in the grounds. Yes, a pinch. 1/16 to 1/8 tsp per pot of coffee. If you can taste the salt, it’s too much. Got this tip from Alton Brown on Good Eats.
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preheat your water. The standard American drip coffee maker cannot heat the first cup or 2 of water to boiling. It comes out around 160-180. Got this from James Hoffman on his YouTube.
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lighter roasts. Dark roasts are like anything burned more.
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grind fresh beans with a burr mill. Bladed coffee grinders make inconsistent chunks and dust. Burr mills don’t. Fresh beans have better and less bitter flavor.
The water and the salt tricks are easy. The lighter roast is more tricky bc grocery stores sell darker roasts. The burr grinder is harder bc they’re not super popular, so you may have to look for one.
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Yes, we can’t trust you if you don’t like coffee. :(
Here’s the current running list of why I can’t be trusted: I don’t drink I’m an atheist I don’t like coffee I don’t like sports
Damn, I should just pack it in and assume no one will ever put trust in me for any reason lol Geek_King the Untrusted
Hold on there…
- +1 Don’t drink - You aren’t going to drive us into a pole from drinking alcohol
- +1 Atheist - You aren’t going to try and govern our lives by some ancient full of crap text
- -1 Don’t coffee - You could still drive us into a pole if you’re sleepy
- +1 Don’t sports - You aren’t going to abuse your kids when your team loses… again… and again.
Sounds like you are actually coming out ahead here.
@Geek_King @MisterHavoc ironically, I feel like I form half my personality on being one of the few people who Don’t drink coffee.
Own it! 😜 We’re better than them! We don’t need any weird brown bean water to become functioning human beings, much less be elitists about it. Psshht losers /s.
Jk y’all bean juice lovers are an alright bunch, I guess…
Enjoy what you enjoy, and enjoy that you enjoy it. Doesn’t matter what other people like
I love the idea of really owning it. Like how a ton of people have tattoos now, but I never once found something I could guarantee I’d love forever, so no tattoos for me. I should embrace my bean-water-less life while being unmarred by inky art!
I think not having tattoos is cool, since I think most people get them now. What about tea? Do you like tea? Coffee makes me jittery as hell and much too talkative, so I don’t drink it too often. But green tea is perfect.
You might be a super taster like me, do you also hate wine, beer, and most fermented things?
Yeah, they taste awful to me, very overpowering. I think I’ve heard some people can be more sensitive to bitter flavors, so it’s possible that’s why I don’t like anything with bitterness as one of its traits.
Probably. I imagine I’m the opposite. I love bitter beer, chocolate, coffee: the bitterer, the betterer. However I really started thinking after a trip to India: I always loved spicy food, but the guys kept trying to find spicier stuff for me, and I outdid all of them. A culture renowned for spicy food had nothing on me
Social connection. It would be nice if I could be confident and good at making friends with strangers. I have no idea why I feel so lonely when in the crowd and even more lonely when I’m alone.
Trust me, it’s overrated. Besides, you’re avoiding COVID naturally. That’s a perk.
