I’m already 35, and I don’t think I could get anything at this age, especially in an area with almost no third places, almost nonexistent mental health system, etc.
Yes I know, friends do exist, but it’s just not the same (unless you happen to regularly have sex, cuddle, etc. with your friends).
Dating apps are horrible, they’re looks first, and I don’t get attracted to someone on looks alone. After that, they’re designed in a way to extract as much money out of you as possible.
I think it’s pretty clear that you’re just creating a space for you to exercise your own defeatism. You can either change your frame of reference or you can wallow in your own suffering. Up to you. Everything sucks and there’s no way out but all around you are people doing just fine figuring out how to be good in their own little world.
I want you to realize that you are choosing this and maybe filtering it through the lense of romantic relationships is just the easiest way for you to externalize this. I guarantee you can meet the love of your life tomorrow and you’d make all the excuses as to why you deserve punishment instead and how the love of your life is a normie romantic concept anyway eith no real value.
Get a hobby. Not one in front of a screen.