Companies hope that biometric age-verification tech in cartridges could put flavored vapes back in business. But it’s unlikely to solve the real problems.
Archived version: https://archive.is/20260328113729/https://www.wired.com/story/your-vape-wants-to-know-how-old-you-are/
Ike’s solution is to leverage blockchain technology in the chip on the e-cig cartridge. It would use a camera to scan some form of ID and then also take a video of the user’s face. Once it verifies your identity and determines you’re old enough to vape, it translates that information into anonymized tokens. That info goes to an identity service like ID.me or Clear. If approved, it bounces back to the app, which then uses a Bluetooth signal to give the vape the OK to turn on.
I just cannot begin to describe how stupid this is. You know what? I’m not going to even try.
But THE BLOCKCHAIN! Remember that time before everything was AI this and GPT that?
A simpler time where you could pay thousands of dollars to “own” a digital file nobody wanted and could freely copy.
A time where words like “memecoin” were commonplace on national news stations.
A time when everyone was trying to get you to invest in something they didn’t understand because the lines kept going up?
This is “light” cigarettes all over again, isn’t it?
Because they’re not regulated, just about anyone can get hold of them. Lack of regulation also means they aren’t properly inspected for chemical components that have adverse effects
Then regulate them instead of coming up with moronic ideas?
I installed Doom on the age-verification tech in my flavored vape.
“You suck like a kid”
- vape rejecting your maturity (2026, colorized)
Two absolute shits have found each other.
