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Of course. No way they are going to poison themselves without poisoning everyone else around them alongside.
Dumbass is paying for my assassimation. Free is free
This guy knows how to finance
You will be assassimated, resistance is futile.
You all simply don’t know the incredible sensation of a ninja poisoning your coffee right after sex.
Was the ninja there before, during or after the sex? What exactly was his participation? Did he have ninja credentials?
I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them and a lot of them would like to quit. It’s a sad thing.
Most smokers I’ve talked to get really defensive about it. “it’s not that bad! Sugar is worse for you! It’s not like you exercise or anything! I don’t smoke as much as so-and-so!”
It’s pathetic, really. I’d respect them more if they could just own “this is bad for me and everyone around me.”
It’s probably a really painful thing to lot of them. It’s like someone defending being fat, they must know it’s unhealthy and have likely tried to do something about it, without success, so now someone mentioning it just causes them to be defensive. Of course there’s no passive diabetes so in that respect smoking is a lot worse since it affects others too.
personal rant
“we’ve tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas” comes to mind
I had a relative who was a smoker; I’d visit and they would try to keep it out of sight, but everyone knew. As the years went on, it became more and more of a problem (financially and health), and many tried to push back and help, support, them. Fought like a child at every step. Fucking developed copd and still didn’t seem to give a fuck, wheezing and struggling with each breath, until just a couple of years before they died; when it was way too god-damn late to do shit about it.
I don’t want to sound like a heartless bastard, but some stupid fucks just won’t listen to any reason, and so they need to feel the consequences of their actions. This person would likely still be alive and in decent health, even years later, if they stopped being so fucking defensive/lying/deflective about it.
I get yeah it’s hard - I’m a fucking stroke ‘survivor’ who is suffering every day I’m alive, incapable of doing basic tasks and body control, stuck in the prison that is my own malfunctioned body and brain, so don’t go crying to me about how hard it is to do things - but you know what’s harder? Waking up in the morning when you’re dead.
I have very little patience for people who can’t or won’t do the hard thing. Like, yeah withdrawal is going to suck but sometimes you have to do something unpleasant to get something better.
I mostly keep it to myself though. A lot of people have this problem. Not just about smoking.
Conversations like
“I’m so tired I don’t know why.”
“When did you go to sleep and get up?”
“Uh sleep at like 3am and up at 7am.”
“Well that explains it. Why up so late?”
“… YouTube videos.”
“You should probably stop staying up so late watching videos so you’re not exhausted all day.”
“No.”
But I mostly keep it to myself because there’s not really anything I can do to make someone listen.
Addiction is a hell of a thing
It’s a coping mechanism, and basically everyone with an addiction does it.
Sugar is worse for you!
I’ve heard not uncompelling arguments to this effect. But I’m also not downing a 64oz big gulp every day.
I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them
I wish this was true. But I live in a country full of people who are more afraid of vaccines than horse roundworm drugs.
There’s still a rump base of Americans convinced climate change, seat belts, dinosaur bones, and warnings on cigarette boxes are an evil trick by the communists in government.
Unfortunately the plan isn’t working. That rump of Americans are dying to slowly. /jk-ish
Every single smoker I know says the same. Never start thus shit.
There’s rarely a mutation that vastly increases healing/cleaning of lung tissue. They get quite old, despite smoking. What do i know, maybe somwhere around 1/100? Not the one-in-a-billion kind of rare.
Edit: guess it was this?
https://www.thediscountt.co.nz/Price+List/Cigarettes+Price+List+2024.html
$40 a day for a heavy smoker here.
When I stopped smoking more than 10 years ago I immediately had a surplus of 300 EUR free cash per month. Two packs a day at 5 EUR per pack at that time.
Being healthier, not stinking like a wet ash tray and having more and better sex are other features of stopping smoking.
How did stopping smoking lead to getting to have sex?
More active, more attractive, more fun with harder boner*.
*Seriously. Smoking does something with your blood flow that does not help with erections.
Nicotine constricts blood vessels, and since boners need blood flow it will be harder to get hard, and if you do you won’t get as hard.
Wow that’s insane, even if it’s “just” about $20 in USD for the cheapest packs at $30 NZD.
Basically prepaying your chemo.
Are the taxes even earmarked to healthcare?
No silly, it’s your lungs and heart, not your ears
No, that’s just what I say to people who gripe about it.
in Austria you can still get them for around 6 bucks. i recently got a pack in Macedonia for €2.50
Wow! Is there a big black market for cigarettes in NZ? And have these prices lead to a lower consumption?
Yes to both, it has unfortunately led to an increase in crime, because they’re so readily stolen. It has definitely led to a decrease in smoking as well, as a lot of smokers quit for financial reasons.
It’s perfectly legal to grow your own, interestingly enough, but not many people do.
Growing it isn’t easy. Also you need to dry them a long time.
buries like 20 cigarettes
sprays water on the mound
by spring I’ll be rolling in the dough!
When the filter tree grows instead of the nicotine plant you’ll be looking a fool
Not really a black market for cigarettes here but you can grow your own tobacco legally if you really want to go down that road. Smoking tobacco in younger generations is very rare but vaping on the other hand is very popular. The government was touting a “smokefree by X” date that kept moving back as the dates came closer.
Yeah but imagine if the ninjas also gave handjobs
And then they slowly feel worse and die?
TIL, I’m a ninja
Are we talking silky-smooth succulent hands, or those of a construction worker who doesn’t buy 30 grit sandpaper because he always carries his own brand?
420 life
The “you’ll feel worse and worse” part is pretty blatantly ignoring the endorphin rush that exists here. Like yes you may feel worse on the level, but it’s accentuated with moments of feeling pretty damn great, which seems disingenuous to ignore.
I’m not even a smoker, and I was happy as hell when I parents quit smoking, but let’s not pretend the choice is as simple as “poison or no poison” without any tangible upsides.
I wonder if the artist used coffee for a reason?
Perhaps, and I’ll admit this is overthinking a silly comic, but it seems to me that the coffee is a given assumption and it is only the addition of poison which is variable, so I think any implications of the coffee are entirely incidental
In the UK, for a pack-a-day smoker, that’s more like $140 a week.
That’s the thing - the other service is cheaper!
Does it come with nicotine? Cuz that’s kinda why I came in here…at least nicotine gives me a bit of a high while it slowly kills me. Rethink your new product.
Come to think of it, why is stuff like nicotine gum only marketed to people who wanna quit smoking? Couldn’t non smokers also just use it for a mild high?
They make it taste awful, like worse than a cigarette.
deleted by creator
Not me! I’ll take a pack of this Chewlie’s gum right here.
Credentials
Is there some kind of accelerated program I can join
Man, that on-the-nose anti-smoking humor in 2024… So fucking fresh and edgy.
T-Zone lmao
Do the ninja also litter and make my breath smell like shit? Because that sounds really good.
not your breath, but your entire existence. i can smell a smoker who just walks nearby. some from quite a distance. they’re disgusting.
Just never go into a convenience store. Aside from the sparse selection of fruit everything else there is bad for you. Tobacco, energy drinks, shitty snack food, lotto tickets. The only convenience is an early release from your mortal coil.
“Just give me a plastic bottle of water.”
![Assassins [Skeleton Claw]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/524835df753a72426c23e9faf74ccb1b/tumblr_ozkkaloQOj1u0glb4o1_1280.jpg){kind=link}
