This isn’t even the first time someone went to the hospital with an explosive round stuck in their asshole.

Replace “dig a hole” with “live in mom’s basement” and this describes another common species as well.

With our new energy subscription services you’ll save almost 100% on your energy bills*!

• As long as you never need energy.

Good news everyone! The US Northeast will have record low gas prices… all we have to do now is to figure out how to keep the region’s air temperature above 70F year-round!

Steal it. I did.

“If hard work made you rich, all donkeys would be millionaires.”

After your internet is shut, you’ll be forced to buy Google Prison Internet, where you’re surveiled 24/7 and you’re only allowed to download ads.

The key is to tell your audience something they wish would be true.

“Honey, you know what would really tie this room together? A giant electronic advertising billboard!”

Yes, but my lame “It’s a glitch in the Matrix” jokes might make one person laugh.

AI-generated waterfall.

Goddammit! Is there anything that US corporations won’t fuck up?

In a down market, shift your focus towards a group that’s even more financially literate than the general public. Nice strategy.

Can someone please ELI5:
Why does every site on the web have to adjust for every jurisdiction in the world? Shouldn’t each jurisdiction just be responsible for filtering/censoring the web for their citizens based on whatever batshit idea their leaders have?

Actually, I suspect the answer is quite easy: this way, they force other people to have to pay for their batshit crazy ideas instead of themselves.

Is there another explanation I’m missing?

Capitalism’s goal is profits. Not helping the customer, selling more, or anything else. We’re in late-stage capitalism, so it is ‘Profits Uber Alles’.

I’ve started using an AI driver for my car. And by “AI” I mean I use a bungee cord on the steering wheel to keep it straight. Straight is the correct answer 40% of the time, so it works out.
Oh, and by “my car”, I mean the people that work for me. I insist that they use my bungee-cord idea to steer their cars if they want to work for me. There may be a few losses, but that’s ok. I can always fire the ones that die and hire more.
I’m a genius.

They’re failing because they hired a string of accountants as CEOs. Undoubtedly they conceded to Wall St pressure to sacrifice research and engineering funding to goose short-term profits. 4 of those and there’s no recovery from that nose dive.
Tomato tomato.

It was. Wall St is destroying it, along with everything else in its insatiable drive for more profit. Everything must be sacrificed to the golden idol.

Also, don’t waste money on doctor visits. Let Bing diagnose your problems for pennies on the dollar. Be smart! Don’t let some doctor tell you what to do.

IANAL so: /s

People are good and care about good things.

We have trouble understanding what’s going on because the average person can’t comprehend the levels of greed that modern Wall St capitalism selects for.
Just like the average person cannot comprehend a million years, the average person can’t appreciate the level of avarice some of our rich and powerful operate at. Only a few of us have interacted with people that broken.
There a tons of good people and good businesses out there. They are currently victims to levels of avarice we can’t bring ourselves to admit exists.

Intel.