Not with the current price of eggs

Jesus Christ!

Bobby Hill? That boy ain’t right.

Look, they aren’t doing anything, I should cut their funding…oh shit that wasn’t good. I guess I’ll spend a third of our taxes on this.

I’m going to need a banana for scale.

Love the ketamine look.

Toes? I do pushups with my penis. One, two, 360, three, four.

Is it weird that this meme makes a sound in my head?

But they smell like up dog.

I’m going to make a list of people that don’t like me.

1. Myself
2. Mechanics, because I learned “this one simple trick”

That’s enough for today.

My favorite is finding them in the bathroom at 2am with my foot

My watch says I got 3.5 hours of sleep and 5682 steps last night

I feel this way about working out in the hotel parking lot. Maybe I’ll just workout in my room. Oh look, a TV and bed.

I have 2 demands for microwaves. Have a 30sec button and start when I press it once. After 1 minute of no use, just clear the time left. Also don’t beep every 10 seconds after the timer ends. I’m drunk and I probably don’t need that food if I don’t remember. That’s more than 2, so 30 demands and I’ll stop before I hit zero left.

Welp, my foot is asleep and the automatic lights are off. Time to get up.

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Your funeral…

I used Planner in the past. Its integration with teams makes a webcam pointed at a white board a lot better.

Oof, oww, my ears