Last night I had a hookup for the first time. I told the guy I wanted him to use a condom, which offended him because he was like, “Why do I need to use one if you already have an IUD? Do you think I’m some STD-ridden guy?” I told him I just don’t know him that well. Either way it was fine in the end, he put it on and it was a fine night. Now I’m thinking, was I being a pushover?

  • Fushuan [he/him]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    7 days ago

    If he said something like “Isn’t an IUD enough?, I prefer without”, then you say you don’t know him well and him being cool with it would be fine, no issues, simple question answered, great night, had sex.

    What he said tho, weird vibes. I hope he was hot enough/good enough in bed for you to enjoy the night regardless of the creepy shit he said.

    Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to reconnect with him after all 😅

    • angelmountain@lemy.nl
      link
      fedilink
      Nederlands
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      7 days ago

      No, if she asks him to wear a condom, he better wear a condom without any questions. Sorry

      • Fushuan [he/him]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        7 days ago

        I sorta disagree. They should wear a condom for sure, but I hope that,if they are comfortable enough to have sex, that they are comfortable enough with each other to ask questions without malice.

        Communication is important.

        • angelmountain@lemy.nl
          link
          fedilink
          Nederlands
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          7 days ago

          I see your point. I am just afraid of the other person agreeing to not wearing a condom because they might feel forced by the extra question and regretting the decision later.

          But ideally they would indeed discuss with mutual respect and come to a good conclusion they both agree with ❤️

          • Fushuan [he/him]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            7 days ago

            Agreed, but we’re they really strangers if the guy knew she had a IUD? I inferred some level of familiarity from there.

            In any case, if I were to ask such question it would be either before or after the deed, so whatever.