I met a guy for some kinky stuff and I normally don’t tend to tell people I‘m trans, as I have pretty much cis passing and prefer to live stealth. We had a lot of fun and he started to stick his fingers inside me. It was really intense and he reached spots I have never felt and it made me crazy. Afterwards, he told me that my cervix is kinda weird. And I was like „hu?“ and didn’t want to tell him that I don’t have one. So he told me that it feels kinda weird. And now I don’t know what to say about it, if he ever brings it up again.
I know its better to be honest about my past but something like that never happened before. I normally tell guys that I can’t have children, if I have serious intentions. But if I just wanna have some fun, why should I tell someone.
I kinda wanna be „done“ with this part of my life. But it feels kinda wrong to not be proud of my identity and keep it a secret. Idk 🤷♀️
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You could always just truthfully say “that’s a weird thing to say to someone.” I’ve never heard of anyone other than a gyno making comments about a woman’s cervix.
You don’t just judge people by their cervix? You’re weird.
I only judge a book by its cervix
I will keep this in mind 🙈
I mean as a person who’s really into sex with women and gets off fingering them, the only thing that seems weird is the phrasing maybe. I’m not sure a gyno is getting up in there with the same level of care and motivation as someone who really likes fingering women.
In today’s political climate, if you’re going to tell them you’re trans you’ll want to do it before sex. Because depending on the political views of a random hookup, they might react violently if they find out after the fact. Saying you were born without a uterus because of a birth defect might be a good manipulation of the truth.
I think it’s fine to just move past things. I don’t think there’s any obligation to just tell people you’re hooking up with. Being proud of accomplishing what you have doesn’t need to involve everyone else.
It’s perfectly valid to not wanna tell anyone, and it’s also good to be proud of who you are and where you’ve gotten. I don’t really know that there’s a right answer here, it’s probably one of those things that you need to feel out, kinda like him with your cervix.
I think you’re right. It’s a non solid answer. It’s like the old saying about cheating. For some people, cheating means intercourse or kissing someone else. For others, you could fuck someone in a gas station bathroom and it’s not cheating. Depends on the relationship.
The sharing of that information is an uncertain answer in my option. Not really sure.
Maybe an underlying thought is, are you fully who you are while withholding information? Is the relationship going to be 100% or will it feel like there’s a secret?
Again, can’t honestly say either way as it’s not my situation.
Straight trans girls proving sexuality is not a choice once again.
Do you have any way of knowing if they are transphobic before going on the date? This situations seems very risky
._.So I’m a cis man and I hope I’m not intruding and hope I’ll be helpful posting my take. I’m not taken to casual sexual relationships personally as I’m Asexual but if I were in your partners shoes I’d want to know in much the same way that I’d like to know if someone was a virgin beforehand. Its not something that would make me not want to hook up necessarily but I can imagine there are things that I could do differently that would make the whole experience better for both of us if I did know. That being said I completely understand the desire to move past that part of your life and I haven’t personally been in a relationship with a Trans person before so please take this with a massive grain of salt. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you
I think disclosing trans status when you’re passing and post-op to a casual hookup is crazy, tbh - there’s no motivation to do it
maybe if this were husband material or something, but even then I would really have to think about whether I would want even my spouse to know I’m trans …
here’s something to think about: what does being trans mean to you? Why is it helpful to disclose?
as far as I can tell, all it does is communicate to someone that I’m “not really a woman” - and this is the opposite of the truth. There is nothing to gain by undermining my gender, and plenty to lose.
Honestly agree. I would want to know but that’s just cause I’m a huge ally and would think it’s really cool and want to encourage or support, but also that’s your life, your past, and completely up to you if you want to share. I would also agree with another poster that disclosing that information could potentially lead to a violent reaction unfortunately.
So if it’s your past and no one’s business keep it like that. If you want to share, probably best to be upfront before sexy times because to even the best intentioned humans that might be a bit of a mind fuck. Born without a uterus does seem like a very neat way to not lie and allow a person to make the wrong assumptions also lol.
sometimes I tell doctors I was born without a uterus and that solves / explains away the issue without disclosing trans status
some women are born without a uterus or have their uterus removed - so it’s possible to be a woman without a cervix 🤷♀️
EDIT: that said, I don’t think you owe him an explanation and his comment could be seen as inappropriate, and regardless my point is there is no need to jump to transness as an explanation even if you felt you needed to explain something (e.g. to a doctor).
