Absolutely agree. Unfortunately, too many people bend that second part into willful ignorance, refusing to ask, “forgetting”, or it just becoming the default for anybody not known to be cis, even if their gender is wildly obvious.
I used to have a friend that worked in HR who would always call me them and they, even though I’d told him numerous times my pronouns are she/her, and he would always defensively come back that since he worked in HR it’s just how he operates, and then refused to ever refer to me as she or her.
It’s dehumanizing and transphobic and we see right through the bullshit. It’s super obvious and you aren’t being clever.
People: if you don’t know, just ask. If you refuse or neglect to ask and keep doing this after more than just the first meeting somebody, you’re very likely a piece of shit. Don’t lean on this. Too many people here are defensively leaning on this.
Under the condition that the person has told you their gender (or the pronouns they want you to use for them): yes, then i am agreeing with you
But if you don’t know a person: The gender is not always lining up with their apperance or the appearance can be (sometimes purposely) ambiguous
Absolutely agree. Unfortunately, too many people bend that second part into willful ignorance, refusing to ask, “forgetting”, or it just becoming the default for anybody not known to be cis, even if their gender is wildly obvious.
I used to have a friend that worked in HR who would always call me them and they, even though I’d told him numerous times my pronouns are she/her, and he would always defensively come back that since he worked in HR it’s just how he operates, and then refused to ever refer to me as she or her.
It’s dehumanizing and transphobic and we see right through the bullshit. It’s super obvious and you aren’t being clever.
People: if you don’t know, just ask. If you refuse or neglect to ask and keep doing this after more than just the first meeting somebody, you’re very likely a piece of shit. Don’t lean on this. Too many people here are defensively leaning on this.