I have a job interview for Monday, so hopefully my time of having my hours absurdly cut and stretched out over the entire week are coming to an end. I really need to go to a meeting tonight. It’s actually a requirement for being in sober living that I go to a certain number a week, and they don’t count my zoom group for more than one. But separate from the requirement, I do need to get to a meeting. I’d also appreciate some chats, because I’m in a pretty shitty headspace right now.
Rant (cw drug use)
It’s so difficult being the youngest in the house while simultaneously the one that everybody depends on for conflict resolution. It typically doesn’t get heated in the house, but it’s my job as the new house manager to make sure everybody’s doing their chores, that we’re accommodating everybody’s neurodivergence and physical ailments, and it usually results in me just having to do a bunch of extra shit that isn’t my responsibility, but just won’t get done without me at least serving as the person that reminds everybody of everything. It’s really hard because I know I don’t have anybody here to do the same for me, and it sucks.
It reminds me of when I was on Phenibut and wouldn’t have had an issue doing something like this. That drug really made me able to just push down all my own needs and function for the other people I need to function for. It’s been years since I’ve taken it, and I know I can’t go back down that road again but fuck if I haven’t been thinking about getting some and going back to that overworked, overstimulated lifestyle
Cashapp is $thenewcashtag Venmo is @thenewvenven