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If language isn’t an issue I could probably work as an engineer in ancient Egypt or a math teacher in ancient Greece

Ooh I’ll have to check it out

Jesus fucking shit that’s infuriating.

Yepppp

Yeah that may be a sign of trauma. It’s a symptom I have

“All professional decisions I make come down to a simple question: what would Marx do”

There’s such a thing as a request that’s rude to make and this feels like it really qualifies

Yeah, if they were to offer broad programs of welcoming queer refugees from places like Iraq, Russia, and Uganda it would seriously endear me to them. Like, it would make me vocally pro China at least on this one issue.

When in actuality we’re intertwined with each other. If China were to become a bastion of queer liberation they’d likely get international vocal support from the queer community. Trans people are a lot more likely to be pro Thailand than the average westerner for this reason.

Are they just terrified of eminent domain or is there a problem with the ground or something? Like the government can just buy the land they need. Yes it’ll piss people off but most people will be much happier.

You mean the generation that grew up in the wake of WW1 then went from hobo to doing hard labor in government construction work to fighting in one of the bloodiest wars in history had a substance abuse problem? Yeah a lot of them tried to drink the trauma away.

It is the best dirt cheap bourbon. I drink better stuff these days but I still have fond memories of it

Lincoln but he really likes what he’s hearing from that Marx fellow over in Germany

They treat most of them as suggestions

Also genesis describes the soul entering at the first breath.

So you definitely don’t have education on Christianity in a theological or religious studies capacity. To begin with: it’s absolutely certain that none of the gospel writers met Jesus. They compiled stories of him into cohesive narratives. There were other gospels floating around (including Judas’s, but that’s highly unlikely to have been written by Judas Iscariot). Hell, Paul of Tarsus who wrote a lot of the epistles never met Jesus. The creation of biblical canon was a difficult process and to this day Protestants use 7 less books in their Bible than Catholics (the deuterocanonical books). The orthodox have even more deuterocanonical books.

These books aren’t just curiosity. They contain some of the fundamental disagreements between Protestants and Catholics, such as purgatory, angelic/saintly intercession thanks to prayer, and the idea that salvation may be possible through good works. And this isn’t getting into sola scriptura vs Tradition, but that’s also huge, as Catholics believe that formalized beliefs and practices passed down through the centuries can be just as legitimate as scripture (in part because what counts as scripture is also passed down in that way).

So let’s say that a person asks this app what Jesus would say about what’s going to happen to a good friend who is a deeply moral person but just doesn’t believe in Jesus. The protestant answer would be that if they don’t accept him as their personal savior they’re going to hell, though they may get a final chance as they die. The catholic answer would be that if they’re a good person who lives a life of minimal sin there is reasonable hope for their salvation, but even if not they’re likely to spend time in purgatory as the sin is removed from their soul so that they can eventually belong in heaven. It may then give some saints to ask for intercession.

These are wildly different answers and it’s not touching on orthodoxy or the writings on Jewish ideas during the rabbinic age (Jesus was Jewish and therefore would have opinions on the religion he was a part of). Or on different protestant teachings. Protestants who believe every word in the Bible is literally true, and have no disagreement on what passages are in the Bible still schism with each other. Then there’s translation. The Bible was written in several different languages. The various translations have different proponents and they’ll fight over it. The very popular King James is apparently beautifully written and poorly translated.

Then there’s the other crux here: what did and didn’t Jesus say and what did he mean. He came not to abolish the old law but to fulfill it, so can you have gay sex (see also translation concerns), foreskin, a cheeseburger, shrimp, or mixed fiber clothing? He didn’t say shit about abortion, but a lot of Christians have pretty firm opinions on that issue (and many protestant denominations changed their mind on it in the late 20th century).

Biblical scholarship is scholarship, and it’s difficult and controversial scholarship a lot of the time. There’s a reason you need what amounts to an advanced degree to just an ordinary advanced degree in a relevant topic to become a pastor in some Christian denominations, yet in others you just have to start preaching.

Also if someone asks Jesus what he thought of when he first arrived in America you’re gonna find out really fast if the creator of the app considers Mormons Christian.

A lot of Christians think the pope is a Satanist

Famously simple and uncontroversial thing to do, interpret what Jesus would say in response to any question.

Also loling at Satan not giving evil advice in a Christian app

Oh absolutely not, they’re all talk. But, I do think it’s worth speaking as if they were honest here because so fucking what. You’ll die for your kid but you won’t volunteer at their school or be a scoutmaster or anything like that? A dad isn’t a soldier, a dad is a parent, and parents are supposed to be involved in their kids’ lives and actively teaching them how to become well adjusted adults