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My female colleague told me the other day I’d make a great dad because my tattoos are all black and white and that would be great for kids because they could color them.
What 😭
As I was sitting at my desk with some tea and a stroopwaffel, one of my coworkers commented that I “really knew how to live.”
Average dutch person
“Whoever did your circumcision did a really good job.” :/
Yeah. Let’s see the model cock, sir
I need more context 😭
Being complimented by the urologist on my shaving for a vasectomy.
“You have a beautiful brain” while looking at MRI pictures of my head.
-Omg your dick is huge!
-T-thanks.
That was a good dream.
Just last week, someone left a note for me saying I’m a “goddess among mortals” for making a carrot cake without raisins.
I’m an overweight 40-year-old man with a beard. She hadn’t seen who made the cake, so she was just making a guess that the baker was a woman, but still. Funny experience.
Embrace the joy, Goddess.
I’m 38, male, chubby, can’t grow a beard for shit.
Raisins are wank. You’re “a goddess among mortals”.
Who the fuck puts raisins in a carrot cake?
I have honestly never experienced an abomination. Not that there is anything wrong with raisins, but in carrot cake?This is standard in US-style carrot cakes
Raisins in cinnamon rolls is the true crime
Most carrot cakes I’ve had contained raisins. I don’t think it’s chiefly an American thing but it definitely seems common enough.
I hate it. Anything that dramatically breaks up the texture of a food like that is a culinary mistake.
The recipe I used actually suggested raisins in the cake and walnuts in the frosting. While I don’t mind either on their own or in other things, carrot cake is supposed to be creamy and smooth. If I wanted crunch or chew, I’d choose…I dunno, german chocolate or something.
Walnuts on the frosting is fine with me but a lot of the ones from the shops used to put them in the cake - not so good.
I did also leave the walnuts out because my son is allergic, so there’s that. But left to my own devices, I’d rather have the walnuts on the side.
She is correct. You are absolutely divine for excluding raisins, you radiant goddess, you!
Oh shit, you are a goddess among mortals! Carrot cake is one of my all time favorites so I keep trying it despite being disappointed every time that someone put raisins in it. It’s just mean.
She’s right. Cooked raisins are an abomination. You’re a hero.
raisins are an abomination
“You eat rice like Chinese person”
From the lady behind the counter as I was watching some bullshit on my phone and eating mapo tofu
I’m not even sure what that could mean. Maybe using chopsticks instead of a fork? I’ve always just eaten food with whatever utensil is typically used for that type of cuisine. I think most people, Chinese or otherwise, eat Chinese food with chopsticks, don’t they?
I think it was that I had picked up the takeout container close to my face and was using the chopsticks to shovel rice into my maw as I watched some video.
That’s just how you eat rice with chopsticks? How else are you supposed to do it without making a giant mess?
Western folks don’t usually hold the bowl and utensils so close to the face
Yeah, I’ve definitely gotten looks for picking up bowls close to my face in the west. Normal for my household, but not normal elsewhere.
Even for not-chopstick dishes like soup or pasta or something, I just find it easier to hold the bowl close to my face, rather than having to lean forward so much over a table just to not make a mess. That shit is how people learn bad posture.
Based on the post context it probably came across either as a backhanded or possibly with a racist sounding context. Like a woman being told she can use a wrench like a man comes across as sexist.
A ton of people in the US eat nearly every type of food with a fork, spoon, or knife. I have to go out of my way to ask for chopsticks most of the time, and most of the people I see eating at other tables are using forks.
I keep meaning to make sticky rice at some point. I also tend to eat rice with chopsticks at Chinese restaurants, but anywhere else the rice is too loose
That I have a nice phone number.
I have an evil one. It ends 666 👿
My old work number used to have a 404 area code. I work in tech. It was a fun inside joke.
Makes me wonder if someone out there has a phone number of 404-746-8363 (404-PG-NT-FND)
Well, you’ve just unlocked a new goal of mine: move to Atlanta…
0666 here
Now kiss.
“If your humor was a person I would fuck it”
you did get laid that night, right?
“I’m the vessel, fuck me. It’s as close as it gets.”
An ultrasound tech once told me that I have a cute spleen.
Nothing looks cute on an ultrasound. Humans are hardwired to see babies as cute, and even they don’t look cute on an ultrasound.
So they gotta have one hell of a cutie spleen
One complimented my bladder, so I guess that spleen seems mighty good about now
Several nurses have commented on my veins. Like to the point where I felt like I was getting hit on.
I had a teacher once that got turned on by veins. I found out after graduating because I met her at a bar and she was horny as hell from seeing my forearms. I use to climb a lot so veiny arms are part of the deal. So, a compliment about my veiny forearms was… special.
they just do that sometimes, it’s normal
source: dad was a nurse
From my ENT: You’ve got a very well maintained nose.
Uhm, thanks?
“I can tell you’re not a habitual cocaine user”
“You like like a modern interpretation of some Greek god of spice” I had a spig of rosemary tucked behind my ear and a shirt that reads “why so salty”
Nurses tend to like the veins in my left arm so I’ve had a few comments on that.
Got laid once because of my veiny arms so, not only nurses like them.
Oh I get this one. It’s usually along the lines of “the blood bank would love to have you” or even “I could find your veins blindfolded”
Yeah I got “wow, I could hit that by throwing a dart from across the room!” I am a favorite of phlebotomists, and I guess could be a successful junkie.
