• @OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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    1307 days ago

    Microsoft announces new Chief Accuracy Officer, Jack Handey

    Mr. Handey has released a statement:

    Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

    • @ohshit604@sh.itjust.works
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      77 days ago

      Ah yes Mr Engineer my impression of this structural assembly is it’s okay but could be really better over there. No need for a second impression.

    • @dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
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      827 days ago

      "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”

      • @some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        637 days ago

        “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

        -Jack Handy

        • Rose
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          16 days ago

          “Hmm. I wonder. I was thinking of dancing trees. Now I’m wondering what’s next. Screaming trees. Yeah. That’s got to be the answer. Screaming trees.” - private notes by Hans Reiser, filesystem designer and a convicted murderer

          (OK, that’s a fake quote. This one is real:)

          “Trees have their roots pointing up. And if you cut a tree apart, you get a forest. No, I’m not drunk.” - one of my computer science profs, on data structures