Might help also to describe what you think feminism is, since it’s one of those terms that is overloaded.
I once had a physical therapist tell me she wasn’t a feminist because she thought women couldn’t be as physically capable as men when serving as soldiers, and seemed to believe feminism requires treating women exactly like men.
I told her I was a feminist because I believe in equal rights for men and women, an idea she did not seem so opposed to.
If feminist just means I think women deserve the exact same rights as men, and same with any other gender, then yes I’m a feminist.
If feminist means a woman advocate who strives to push more female perspectives in a world dominated by male ones, well I’m a cis man so by definition I can’t do that. If I want to support that, and I do, the best thing I can do is stop talking and listen.
I think it’s a fundamental failure of feminism/people to make men think that they don’t deserve a voice, even in support of women.
hm, don’t you think cis men can be woman advocates who help female perspectives be seen?
Thinking of examples here like Poor Things, which is written and directed by men, but which clearly pushes, at the very least, feminist perspectives (if not “female perspectives”).
John Stuart Mill’s The Subjection of Women likewise comes to mind - we need men taking & putting forward feminist perspectives, to help female perspectives get traction in a patriarchal society.
Listening is helpful (mutually), but I don’t think it’s the only role for men.