• @Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I have a signed document pledging the right testicle of a highschool friend that I technically own and will collect upon his death. I don’t know how many testicles I have.

    I didn’t make that up for a hypothetical. This is how I live.

    • LousyCornMuffins
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      27 days ago

      you and me should be friends. what’s a life without an ambiguous number of body parts?

      • @Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Let’s do it, but only if this online friendship doesn’t lead to a chance meetcute where my friend dies and the will is contested, and you happen to be the best damn testicle lawyer this side of the Mississippi River.

        I’ve already given up on love and nothing will thaw this icy heart. Not even the best damn testicle lawyer this side of the Mississippi River.