• @Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      5618 days ago

      This has got to be the most relevant comment. You’ve demonstrated the advantage of having the eyes on the top of the head with a delightfully relatable image.

      • @LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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        516 days ago

        Also demonstrated the placidity of the prey species (cookies) being oblivious to the threat and just doing their own thing.

        I’m using this as a citation now. You can’t stop me.

        • @Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          416 days ago

          The Wild Bite: Chronicles of a Cookie Hunter

          [Scene opens on a lush, crumb-laden suburban living room. A dramatic orchestral swell rises as the camera pans to reveal a large, blue, furry creature crouching behind a toy chest.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): In the heart of the domestic wilderness, on the edge of a temperate biotic zone known colloquially as “the living room,” we encounter a most peculiar apex predator: Monstrum biscotti, commonly known as the Cookie Monster.

          [Camera zooms in on Cookie Monster, his googly eyes twitching erratically in every direction.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Evolved for maximal mastication, this creature’s diet consists almost exclusively of a singular, elusive prey: Biscotus chipicus, or the common chocolate chip cookie.

          [Cut to a plate on the kitchen counter. A dozen warm cookies glisten in the light.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Each specimen, a delicately baked blend of sugars, fats, and theobromine-rich morsels, serves as both sustenance and obsession for our shaggy subject.

          [Cookie Monster slowly emerges, dragging himself across the carpet with exaggerated stealth.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Observe the hunter’s approach—lumbering, agile, and inevitable. His strategy relies not on speed, but on surprise.

          [Cut to the cookies. One, resting on the edge of the plate, wobbles ever so slightly.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): The Biscotus chipicus is defenseless—its only evolutionary recourse being brittleness. It cannot run. It cannot hide. It can only crumble.

          [Cookie Monster rises, eyes fixated. A low growl builds in his throat.]

          COOKIE MONSTER: COOOOOKIEEEE!!!

          [He lunges. A flurry of crumbs explodes into the air. Cookie Monster devours with primal ecstasy, bits of cookie raining from his maw like edible shrapnel.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): With alarming efficiency, the predator consumes his quarry.

          [Cookie Monster slumps to the floor, sated. A single chocolate chip rests on his chest.]

          DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): And so concludes another cycle in this majestic, crumb-filled ecosystem. The hunter rests… until the next scent of freshly baked prey stirs his wild, monstrous soul once more.

            • @Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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              516 days ago

              I appreciate your benefit of the doubt. As it is, this is AI generated. I did have to edit it a lot. Admittedly, my writing gets a little better as I replace more and more of the AI results I request. Still, I figure it’s best to live a slightly honest life and label these things for what they are.

        • @Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          314 days ago

          Thanks! Since it’s become apparent that AI and bots are getting better at blending in, I figure I better learn to hide among them for when they take over. Beep boop.

          • CaptainBlagbird
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            214 days ago

            Haha, that’s a good strategy!

            I mean bleep bloop bzzz 🤖 I like breathing air